I have some strangers to thank; Thai strangers. It’s no secret that Thai BL Series are among my favorite things to write about/watch. You don’t have to dig deep on this site to find the numerous reviews and positive rants I’ve done on them. What is less known, is what these dramas and their actors have done for my mental health during this insane year. 

I had always regarded my worst mental health year as the one that immediately followed my university graduation, but boy, I did not see 2020 coming…

Initially, quarantine wasn’t that bad. I worked from home, ordered groceries online, did art, read books, made music, and tried to write as much as I could. However, I could do all of that only because I wrongly assumed that quarantine would, you know, end. I could do all of that because I had hope that things would get better, and that summer would bring relief. When June dawned not with lower numbers, but an explosion of cases, that small amount of hope went away faster . 

The depressive episodes and anxiety hit hard, and didn’t show any signs of letting up. I tried all my old tricks. I immersed myself in fan fiction and Supernatural re-runs, I watched anime I hadn’t touched in years, and even pulled old manga off my shelves. I tried to keep myself busy writing songs, doing recordings, going for super long walks (I lost 30 lbs.)  but nothing could pull me out of the seemingly permanent COVID-19 funk. 

As the last months of summer were upon us, I started to talk to my friend in Japan on Saturday nights. The previous Spring I’d visited her in Tokyo, where she had told me about Thai BL Series and one in particular that she thought I would enjoy called Sotus. She sent me all the links to watch it…and I never did. 

I have never been so thankful for being flaky about watching a TV recommendation; if I had watched it then, I’d be shit out of luck now. With my media options pretty much depleted during the summer, I finally sat down to watch Sotus: the Series—and ended up binging the whole thing. 

After that, it was down the rabbit hole with no complaints. 

Sotus lead to Until We Meet Again, which I had to watch Why RU to heal from, and then was Tharntype, Bad Romance, Theory of Love, and so many, many more. 

The shows had me crying (UWMA looking at you, you broke my heart), laughing, yelling at the TV (sorry Off but I wanted to punch Khai most of the time), and my heart beating out of my chest (Why RU better win best chemistry at the next award show, Tutor’s bedroom eyes were a whole new level). 

But, the absolute joy I got from these actors and the characters they portray did not stop at the end credits. Thailand has an admittedly weird fan-service culture, and I’m sure it can become toxic really, really fast. However, when fans remember that actors are just people, it leaves behind only this beautiful dedication to the craft and to the people who support their work. The actors really give a lot of themselves to the fans of their shows. From meetups, to interviews, to random mini-series where they run around Thailand eating a butt-ton of food, it seems to me they never stop, and there is just something incredibly compelling about the whole thing. 

Ask anyone I know and they will tell you that I am not a YouTube person. I don’t watch random videos—I don’t even really watch music videos, but I subscribed to YouTube Premium this year and it is 100% because of Thai BL Dramas and the actors within them. 

Let me tell you, I haven’t laughed as much as I did watching OffGun Fun Night episodes since 2019. Talk about chaotic. 

Anyway, the point is, you guys rock. It’s very unlikely that any Thai actor will ever see this, but just in case: keep doing what you’re doing. Keep putting out this beautiful work that continuously brings a smile to my face. You all pulled me out of a seriously dark place this year. You’re doing it right. 

Much love from the States.

[For those who are feeling adventurous; I am currently watching: My Oxygen  (gonna do a looooong article on this one because SWOON) // I’m Tee, Me Too]